Theresa’s Take – Take 10 | “It’s Not Always About You”

How many times have you heard sayings such as, “What’s in it for me?” or “What have you done for me lately?”  I even have “GIVEMEME” on my license plate. For me, it means give me only what I deserve. However, many people have interpreted it as a badge of selfishness.

Over the past few months I have not been feeling well. Exhaustion had me jacked up physically and mentally. I’d come to realize that I’ve been living in survival mode. For years, I’ve been working sixty plus hours a week to clean up some poor financial decisions and to finance my daughter’s college education. She graduated, but that Parent Plus College Loan has eternal life. I’m going to update my will and leave the outstanding balance to my ex-husband.

I went through a very bitter divorce, the loss of both of my parents, and the death my precious catVernonwithin three years.  I finally decided to stop looking for the man in the red car that hit my cat. I’m sure that he couldn’t have known that he killed a small part of me when he tookVernon’s life and kept going. It was an accident. Had he stopped, I would have tearfully accepted an apology. I know that he kept going because he was more worried about himself than a silly cat, or even the person that loved him most, me.

In my life’s journey I’ve always had a drive for excellence. I have high standards and I strive to be the best at everything I do at all times. It is not uncommon to see me grocery shopping in a dress and heels. I don’t go anywhere without my Mary Kay, including the Y. Recently my family members have shared with me that my unrealistic standards and drive for excellence has often left them feeling inadequate or unable to measure up. Because I was so focused on self-actualization, obtaining more education, earning more money and getting a better body, I didn’t acknowledge their pain. I just kept driving.

I’m so thankful that they loved me enough to tell me that I needed to change. Today I’m in a much better place spiritually, mentally and physically. I still have my goals, but they are much more considerate of others. Ladies, Gents and Janet Jackson Wannabes, as they say, “do you” but please consider others while on the road.